Writing Tips for
Story Structure & Storytelling
by Melanie Anne Phillips
Creator StoryWeaver,
Co-Creator Dramatica
Writing Characters of
the Opposite Sex
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Writing Characters of the Opposite Sex
Perhaps the most fundamental error made by authors, whether novice or
experienced, is that all their characters, male and female, tend to
reflect the gender of the author. This is hardly surprising, since
recent research finally proves that men and women use their brains in
different ways. So how can an author overcome this gap to write
character of the opposite sex that are both accurate and believable to
their own gender?
At first, it might seem that being male or female is an easily
definable thing, and therefore easy to convey in one’s writing. But as
we all know, the differences between the sexes have historically been a
mysterious quality, easily felt, but in fact quite hard to define. This
is because what makes a mind male or female is not just one thing, but
several.
First, let’s consider that gender has four principal components:
Anatomical Sex
Sexual Preference
Gender Identity
Mental Sex
Anatomical sex describes the physicality of a character – male or
female. Now, we all know that people actually fall in a range – more
or less hairy, wider or narrower hips, deeper or higher voice, and so
on. So although there is a fairly clear dividing line between male and
female anatomically, secondary sexual characteristics actually create a
range of physicality between the two. Intentionally choosing these
attributes for your characters can make them far less stereotypical as
men and women.
Sexual Preferences may be for the same sex, the opposite sex, both,
or neither (or self). Although people usually define themselves as being
straight, gay, bi, or celibate, this is also not a fixed quality.
Statistics show, for example, that 1/3 of all men have a homosexual
encounter at least once in their lives. Although it often stirs up
controversy to say so, in truth most people have passing attractions to
the same sex, be it a very pretty boy or a “butch” woman. Consider
the sexual preference of your characters not as a fixed choice of one
thing or another, but as a fluid quality that may shift over time or in
a particular exceptional context.
Gender Identity describes where one falls on the scale between
masculine and feminine. This, of course, is also context dependent. For
example, when one is in the woods, at home with one’s family, or being
chewed out by the boss. Gender Identity is not just how one feels or
things of oneself, but also how one acts, how one uses one’s voice,
and how one wishes to be treated. Often, a male character may have
gentle feelings but cover them up by overly masculine mannerisms. Or, a
female character may be “all-business” in the workplace out of
necessity, but wish someone would treat her with softness and kindness.
Actuaally, Gender Identity is made up of how one acts or wishes to act,
and how one is treated or wishes to be treated. How many times have we
seen a character who is forced by others to play a role that is in
conflict with his or her internal gender self-image? Gender Identity is
where one can explore the greatest nuance in creating non-stereotypical
characters.
Finally, Mental Sex describes where one falls on the scale from
practical, binary, linear, logistic, goal-oriented thinking to
passionate, flexible, emotional, process-oriented thinking. In fact,
every human being engages in ALL of these approaches to life, just at
different times and in different ways.
Now, in creating characters, consider that each of the four
categories we just explored is not a simple choice between one thing or
another, but a sliding scale (like Anatomical Sex) or a conglomerate of
individual traits (like Gender Identity). Then, visualize that wherever
a character falls in any one of those four categories places absolutely
no limits on where he or she may fall in the other categories.
For example, you might have a character extremely toward male
anatomical sex, bi-sexual (but leaning toward a straight relationship at
the moment), whose gender identity is rough and tumble ( but yearns to
be accepted for his secret sensitivity toward impressionistic paintings)
who is practical all the time (except when it comes to sports cars).
Any combination goes.
But when it comes to Mental Sex itself, there are four sub-categories
within that area alone which tend to define the different personality
types we encounter:
Subconscious
Memory
Conscious
Preconscious
In brief, each of these “levels” or “attributes” of the mind
can lean toward seeing the world in definable or experiential terms.
Pre-conscious is a tendency to perceive the world in components or as
processes that is determined before birth. It is the foundation of
leaning toward the tradition “male” or “female” personality
traits. Subconscious determines the tendencies we have to be attracted
or repelled from component or process rewards. Memory relies on our
training to organize our considerations in a give situation toward
components or processes. And every character always has a Conscious
choice to focus on the components or processes at any given moment. In
other words, in a given situation, at each level of Mental Sex does a
character center on the way things are or the way things are going? At
each level is the character more interested in getting his or her ducks
in a row or in a pond?
Finally, beyond all of these considerations is the cultural
indoctrination we all receive that leads us to respond within social
expectations appropriately to the role associated with our anatomical
sex. These roles are fairly rigid and include what is proper to wear,
who speaks first, who opens the door or order the wine, who has to
pretend to be inept where and skilled where else (regardless of real
ability or lack there of in that area), the form of grammar one uses in
constructing sentences, the words one is expected to use (“I’ll take
a hamburger,” vs. “I’d like a salad”), and the demeanor
allowable in social interaction with the same and the opposite sex,
among many other qualities.
In the end, writing characters of the opposite sex requires a
commitment to understand the difference between those qualities which
are inherent and those which are learned, and to accept that we are all
made of the same clay, but just sculpt it in different ways.
For more depth and detail, consider the 3-hour program “Writing
Characters of the Opposite Sex,” available on audio CD or audio
cassette at http://store.yahoo.com/dramatica/writcharofop.html
Copyright Melanie Anne Phillips
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