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by Armando Saldaña Mora For anyone interested in writing comedy: I've found a good book. Is called "Comedy Writing Step By Step" by Gene Perret ISBN: 0-573-60605-6. I "test-drove" it and by the end of chapter 12 I've made the first Dramatica stand-up routine: "It's good to be back on this email list, back on the community. Even though we have had our differences, we could only love each other. Mostly because hitmen are so damn expensive. "But we're really fond of this list. Some of us think of it as our home. In fact a few are still trying to put it up as collateral. "Who says we spend more time posting messages here than with our own families? Last night I took my wife for a walk under the moonlight, looked her in the eye and whispered in her ear: "RESPOND TO: wife@bitranch.com. CONCERN: Dram: You're obsessed. TEXT: I love you." "My wife is very understanding. she said: "DIVORCE jerk. "I'm back on the list. Call it nostalgia, but I couldn't live without a hundred lurkers hearing every word I say. "By the way, who are those lurkers? why do they lurk? Am I the only one who's expecting to see a salrushdie@hotmail.com asking "why four throughlines?" "Anyway, this list is an example of global agreements and understanding. We all agree we don't understand crap about Dramatica's theory. "However, it's truly worth studying it. Dramatica won't assure you'll sell your story, but you can Dramanalyse all those rejection letters and see if they're structurally flawed. "On the other hand, Dramatica is so universal that is hard to beleive Shakespeare didn't write with it. Especially since SSI found his registration card. "Talk about Classic Writers! I'm so accustomed to computers that I can't understand how they could use a quill. For starters where do you plug it? "We are a new generation of writers. Some say the most beautiful words for a writer are "The End." How about "We Were Able To Save Your Hard Disk"? "All things considered, I conclude Technology is not substitute for Inspiration. It's a much more elegant reason when you're explaining why you're stuck on that short story for ten years. "I think of me as an intuitive writer. I'm concerned if Dramatica could kill my Muse. Then again, I'm also concerned the Tooth Fairy could develop homicidal tendencies. "Still, some say Dramatica only works for commercial stories, I don't think so. Especially after checking my annual income balance. "But really: "Throughline", "Storyform", "State Of Being"? Are those really words? Is this a shod of cybercrap concocted by some flaky west-coast yahoos or what? "Anyway, I don't like any Creative Writing Software. I'm affraid they'll made my procrastinating formulaic. "I'm not really procrastinating, is just that my novel is too big. This month I'm avoiding Chapter 57. "Procrastinating is just a phase of the writing process. When you've gone through all that the next problem is writer's block: how do you get it? "Does that sound desperate? I'm at the point of looking for books about techniques of reading books about writing. "If everything fails, I can always come back to this list to discuss the theory. "Which brings me to what I really wanted to say: Six months ago I realized Dramatica's theory has more holes than a slice of swiss cheese. In order to correct that, I'm currently learning how to write from a slice of swiss cheese. "This week we're gonna analyze "Mousehunt"... again. "Ok, I'll concede. Dramatica may work in theory, but I'm sure no one could ever finish a story with it, is like communism. I couldn't finish my story with that either. ""The Hero's Journey" is much better organized. For starters, he's carrying American Express. "I e-mailed SSI saying "with some stories you have to bend really hard in order to analyze them." They responded "Have you tried placing the computer ON TOP of your desk?" "No matter what they claim, Dramatica isn't the last word. "Zygote," for one, is much further down. ""Fuel for the imagination" doesn't really fit Dramatica's theory. How about "At least you'll skip Purgatory"? "People nowdays found religions on everything, even Writing Software. I'm currently attending the First Reformed IdeaFisher Church. "The biggest problem of Dramatica as a religion is: if you're looking for comfort in the Good Book and the page opens in "Identifying the Variation which is most suited to the central explorations of a Throughline..." your head will explode. "Also, the festivity pageant should have four throughlines. "Imagine that, sewing all the little shepperd costumes and then storyencoding!"
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